I know its hard now. You're only 19 yet you carry so much and you dont even know it. You put a smile on your face everyday. You wear this mask and hide your true feelings from everyone else. But thats what most people do right? I just want you to know that who you are now, will define who you are in the future. You will be stronger. Stop holding on to the past. Dont not linger any longer. The future you will just laugh at how pathetic you're feeling right now. I know there are things that needed closure but for you to be whole again, you have to listen to what your heart says.
Dear future me, I promise you'll never be afraid of anything again. You will be stronger and you will be happier. The future me. You'll always be whole and even if you're not, just remember your number one motto since 2011. "Good things happen to those who wait" And always remember that you are not alone in this journey. Someone will walk with you. The future me. The past you was always afraid. Always had anxiety. Everything came off uneasy. You were always hiding something. But you always seem to find a reason to smile and laugh. Im proud of who you are now and who you will be in the future.
Dear future me,
Be strong, be brave and be you.
Showing posts with label #missninasantos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #missninasantos. Show all posts
Sunday
At my happiest
its exactly 4.14am in the morning. Its monday, 26th of May 2015. Its a cold and rainy night. And i cant sleep. Ive finished my essay. Im on track. I have sorted that i will be going to the gym today and no excuses. Ive planned everything. Im sorted. Im at my happiest state atm. But for some reason, i feel like theres still something missing. Something that needs to be cleared out. I have so many things to be grateful for. I have so many things to do. I need to sleep. I need that rest. But when you're at you're happiest state, everything seems to be going way too fast. I sin. I sin everyday that i forgot who i am anymore and where i came from. I forgot to thank the one who i should really give thanks to. I forgot how to be a follower. I forgot. But when you're at you're happiest, everything just seems so right. Everything is perfect. I have this glitch inside of me thats been bothering me for the longest time now. But i am thankful because without that glitch, i wouldnt be where i am right now. Im at my happiest and im denying it. Something isnt quite complete just yet. Soon time will tell. I hope im not ruining anything. Because i just want to be at my happiest.
Monday
Steady phase, steady life
Hello lovely people!
Its been a while since ive updated my blog and i admit i slacked off during the summer holidays here in New Zealand to which btw it was the best summer so far. I could say that its the best as i thought it was different to what i usually do during summer.
Today's blog post is about what is going on with my personal life. Not to give out a lot of details about it but i wanna share how blessed i've been lately.
For those of you that have seen my previous blogs, you guys are aware about the boy who i welcomed freely into my life last year, february. At first i was scared because of what people will say as i didnt have a clean break up with my previous boyfriend before i started going out with Chris. It wasnt easy. We hid our relationship to a lot of people until we decided that we dont even care anymore. Months passed, we let people say what they had to say and eventually it just stopped. The assurance was there. Even though we've only been dating for a few months back then, he made sure that i was never hurt physically or emotionally. A few months later, our relationship was stable. I was assured how much he loves me everyday even after a tough day and vice versa. He was in high school and i was in university. I had a lot of anxiety attacks during my first year in uni but he also made sure that things will get by soon. Which did because after the first semester, i was at ease. Considering that we rarely see each other back then, we made it to the point where we are very comfortable around each other. And then we hit summer holidays. That was his last year in high school so we got 4 months worth of summer holidays. We went to different places such as maraetai beach, hunua falls, hamilton, waiwera and a lot more. Those are the few places we went to during the summer holidays. It was great. And then february came when my relatives from the Philippines came and he got to meet them and also met my parents. It took about a year before he met them but here already met my siblings way before he met my parents. After our first year together, things got though. We got into a lot of fights and misunderstanding. I cried, he was upset. i was frustrated, he was confused. It came to a point where we nearly broke it off because it felt like we fight about the same thing over and over again. But ofcourse, he promised me one thing from the beginning. When he said he love me, he also said he'll never get tired of us. He proved that to me after all the stupid fights that we had.
I am so blessed to have been given this blessing in my life and one things for sure, it will never be easy. But with him to reassure me about the positive light in life, i can get through it.
Bb, i know you're gonna somehow read this. And if you are, thank you. Because you've always been my number one support since day one. And thank you for letting me be that person to witness you grow from being a teenager to an adult. Also, thank you for the amount of patience that you have showed me these past few months. I cannot thank you enough for always encouring me to do better. I cant wait for whats in store for us in the future. You may be leaving to serve for your church next year but know that i will always support you and when you get back, ill still be here waiting for you.
And ofcourse thank you God for this wonderful story. You have given me so many blessings to which some of them I dont deserve but I will forever be grateful for these simple wonderful life that you have blessed upon me.
and if this was a dream, i dont ever want to wake up from it
Its been a while since ive updated my blog and i admit i slacked off during the summer holidays here in New Zealand to which btw it was the best summer so far. I could say that its the best as i thought it was different to what i usually do during summer.
Today's blog post is about what is going on with my personal life. Not to give out a lot of details about it but i wanna share how blessed i've been lately.
For those of you that have seen my previous blogs, you guys are aware about the boy who i welcomed freely into my life last year, february. At first i was scared because of what people will say as i didnt have a clean break up with my previous boyfriend before i started going out with Chris. It wasnt easy. We hid our relationship to a lot of people until we decided that we dont even care anymore. Months passed, we let people say what they had to say and eventually it just stopped. The assurance was there. Even though we've only been dating for a few months back then, he made sure that i was never hurt physically or emotionally. A few months later, our relationship was stable. I was assured how much he loves me everyday even after a tough day and vice versa. He was in high school and i was in university. I had a lot of anxiety attacks during my first year in uni but he also made sure that things will get by soon. Which did because after the first semester, i was at ease. Considering that we rarely see each other back then, we made it to the point where we are very comfortable around each other. And then we hit summer holidays. That was his last year in high school so we got 4 months worth of summer holidays. We went to different places such as maraetai beach, hunua falls, hamilton, waiwera and a lot more. Those are the few places we went to during the summer holidays. It was great. And then february came when my relatives from the Philippines came and he got to meet them and also met my parents. It took about a year before he met them but here already met my siblings way before he met my parents. After our first year together, things got though. We got into a lot of fights and misunderstanding. I cried, he was upset. i was frustrated, he was confused. It came to a point where we nearly broke it off because it felt like we fight about the same thing over and over again. But ofcourse, he promised me one thing from the beginning. When he said he love me, he also said he'll never get tired of us. He proved that to me after all the stupid fights that we had.
I am so blessed to have been given this blessing in my life and one things for sure, it will never be easy. But with him to reassure me about the positive light in life, i can get through it.
Bb, i know you're gonna somehow read this. And if you are, thank you. Because you've always been my number one support since day one. And thank you for letting me be that person to witness you grow from being a teenager to an adult. Also, thank you for the amount of patience that you have showed me these past few months. I cannot thank you enough for always encouring me to do better. I cant wait for whats in store for us in the future. You may be leaving to serve for your church next year but know that i will always support you and when you get back, ill still be here waiting for you.
And ofcourse thank you God for this wonderful story. You have given me so many blessings to which some of them I dont deserve but I will forever be grateful for these simple wonderful life that you have blessed upon me.
and if this was a dream, i dont ever want to wake up from it
Love lots,
Nina ❤️
Saturday
2015 Goals
This post is way overdue but then I thought its never to late to share my thoughts and goals with you guys for this year. My 2015 started off really good, compared to how I started my 2014. There were so many issues and such back then and I was fixing it through out the whole year. Although I may have given up on some but its never too late to try again.
Anyways, my 2014 ended with a bang and I gotta say, I've been blessed in so many ways.
In 2014, I started university and currently taking up bachelors in international travel and tourism majoring in hospitality and I must say, so far so good. Im happy with what im doing and I cant wait to graduate and get a job in line of my degree. I still can't believe that Im off to my second year already! It has been a mixture of ups and downs but im looking forward to whats ahead of me. In 2014, I was also blessed to have given the opportunity to have two jobs, considering that I am also in Uni then and it all worked out pretty good. And to have my family support me all the way, from picking me up after work and also dropping me off and lending me the car when I do finish late at work. Also, I am proud to say that I am in a stable relationship with my Boyfriend and without him, I dont know how I'll be able to control my life sometimes. Although, I went downhill with fitness, Im satisfied enough to have learnt so much about health. It opened my eyes to what Im consuming and Im thankful for the people that inspired me to keep going.
My goals for 2015 are simple. They may sound cliche but these are the things that I need to work on the most.
1. Rekindle my faith.
6. Read more books
I've got a lot of books in my room and I've only read a few of them. Some unfinished. I still think that reading is better than watching, though I do watch a few TV series every now and then but im not committed. Sometimes I watch a few episodes and wont continue to watch the rest. Same goes for reading. I read a few chapters and then I neglect the book. I need to read more books this year.
7. Be minimalist
There are some things that I need to change this year and that includes being minimalist. Things such as alcohol or clubs dont amuse me anymore. Also, I need to put my phone down a lot now and less social media. Hence the new facebook where I have less friends so less interaction.
Anyways, my 2014 ended with a bang and I gotta say, I've been blessed in so many ways.
In 2014, I started university and currently taking up bachelors in international travel and tourism majoring in hospitality and I must say, so far so good. Im happy with what im doing and I cant wait to graduate and get a job in line of my degree. I still can't believe that Im off to my second year already! It has been a mixture of ups and downs but im looking forward to whats ahead of me. In 2014, I was also blessed to have given the opportunity to have two jobs, considering that I am also in Uni then and it all worked out pretty good. And to have my family support me all the way, from picking me up after work and also dropping me off and lending me the car when I do finish late at work. Also, I am proud to say that I am in a stable relationship with my Boyfriend and without him, I dont know how I'll be able to control my life sometimes. Although, I went downhill with fitness, Im satisfied enough to have learnt so much about health. It opened my eyes to what Im consuming and Im thankful for the people that inspired me to keep going.
My goals for 2015 are simple. They may sound cliche but these are the things that I need to work on the most.
1. Rekindle my faith.
"A thousand times I fail, still Your mercy remains." I go by these lyrics cuz its just on point. This has got to be the very first one on my list. I haven't been embracing my faith as much and I do feel bad about it. Im definitely working on this goal this year.
2. Go back to fitness
Left photo: 2012 Right photo: early 2014
Believe it or not, I lost a total of 10 kgs ever since I started gyming and eating clean. But I lost all motivation towards the end of 2014. I really looking forward to going back to fitness. Slowly getting there.
3. Keep up a B average for 2nd year in University
I actually did pretty good in uni for my first year even though I struggled to fit in, I struggle to adjust, I did better than I expected. Now, I just need keep doing what Im doing and oush myself harder. This semester, Im not really familiar with any of my subjects but I just need to pull myself out and do what I can do.
4. Travel
Yesssss! Me and my girlfriends have been planning to go to Australia this year to visit one of our closest friends who is currently in Melbourne! and from there, we'll go to Gold Coast! I've always love the idea of travelling with a group of friends! Im looking forward to all my future travel endeavours! And with this on my list, Philippines is also in my list. The last time that I was in the Philippines was back in 2012. I'd really like to visit the homeland anytime soon. And with travelling on my 2015 goals, I really do need to step up my game in terms of saving money.
5. Discover New Zealand.
My family migrated in New Zealand back in 2007. Its been 8 years since then and I do want to explore New Zealand more. I can pretty much say I grew up in New Zealand. I was only 11 back then. Though it was a tough move as we found it hard to adjust, culture wise. I want to discover New Zealand in so many ways. New Zealand has so many beautiful places that I have yet to discover. And im hoping to do so with my boyfriend.
6. Read more books
I've got a lot of books in my room and I've only read a few of them. Some unfinished. I still think that reading is better than watching, though I do watch a few TV series every now and then but im not committed. Sometimes I watch a few episodes and wont continue to watch the rest. Same goes for reading. I read a few chapters and then I neglect the book. I need to read more books this year.
7. Be minimalist
There are some things that I need to change this year and that includes being minimalist. Things such as alcohol or clubs dont amuse me anymore. Also, I need to put my phone down a lot now and less social media. Hence the new facebook where I have less friends so less interaction.
Thats all for now :)
Thursday
From Plain to Dots
Hey guys!
Summer is here and I am currently working two part time jobs. Though I still dont know how I feel about having two jobs but Im happy I can afford to buy Christmas presents for my family and friends. Perks of earning money from two jobs is that I also get to save up for a plane ticket to the Philippines and Im kind of hoping to go sometime next year. Though next year I am hoping to travel a lot from the islands to Australia, taking it one step at a time. Also hoping to see Queenstown during winter next year.
My birthday is just around the corner. It hasnt hit me yet but I feel like I have more responsibility now that I work to earn money. Its a lot of responsibility in terms of helping out with financial stuff at home and also personal stuff. Theres also that part when you work so much that you feel like you deserve to buy something for yourself. Kind of like a reward. I am currently working on resisting to buy myself a reward due to the fact that Christmas is just around the corner and I do have to buy presents for my loved ones.
I also feel like this year went by pretty fast. Though im not gonna lie to you, 2014 was so good to me. New house, new phone, new car, 2 jobs, a caring boyfriend, 1st of uni done and dusted, met Kathniel in person and lost 12 kgs in 1 year and went down from 34% bodyfat to 18%. I couldnt ask for more. I have everything that I need and I have achieved my goals for 2014. I can't wait for new adventure to come next year. New year, New goals, I cant wait to show you guys that experience.
Anyways, heres an irrelevant outfit post :)
Outfit details
Top from Supre
Shorts from Valleygirl
Shoes from Rubi
Sunnies from NZ Sale
Lipstick shade Viva Glam III by Mac
Thats all for now :)
Love lots,
Monday
HELLO 4 MONTHS OF SUMMER HOLIDAYS!
hello readers!!
I am finally free from studying and exams, though I will be working 2 jobs this summer holidays but I will most likely drop one by next year. This year went by pretty fast! I cant get over the fact that I've just finished my first year in uni! Off to second year in March and im not excited.
Anyways, I had my last exam today and I've never been confident walking out of an exam room. This semester was so good and im not gonna lie about that. After my exam, I went and met up with two of my closest mates from high school and watched Gone Girl. It was pretty good! The intensity of the movie was real and i'd pay another 50 cents to watch it. Yeah thats right! 50 cents movie because I work at Hoyts.
Heres a quick outfit of the day post.
Thanks to my brother for taking these, though it needed a lot of adjustments because he didnt play with the settings. Im posting it anyways.
I am finally free from studying and exams, though I will be working 2 jobs this summer holidays but I will most likely drop one by next year. This year went by pretty fast! I cant get over the fact that I've just finished my first year in uni! Off to second year in March and im not excited.
Anyways, I had my last exam today and I've never been confident walking out of an exam room. This semester was so good and im not gonna lie about that. After my exam, I went and met up with two of my closest mates from high school and watched Gone Girl. It was pretty good! The intensity of the movie was real and i'd pay another 50 cents to watch it. Yeah thats right! 50 cents movie because I work at Hoyts.
Heres a quick outfit of the day post.
Thanks to my brother for taking these, though it needed a lot of adjustments because he didnt play with the settings. Im posting it anyways.
Outfit details:
Top from Supre
Leggings from Valleygirl
Bag from Kmart
Shoes from Rubi
Thats all for now!
Love lots,
Tuesday
First week of exams
Hey guys,
So this week is the first official exam week for me. This year has gone by really fast and in a few weeks, I've officially finish my first year in university. For those of you who are not aware of what im currently studying, I am doing a bachelors in international tourism management. I love doing what Im doing an I look forward to getting a job within the airline industry in the future. I always think about travelling to different places, whether it may be domestic or international. If you do ask me though, I havent really traveled much but I am looking forward to going to Australia next year. Currently have two jobs to save up for that much awaited trip. Though, its really hard to find someone to travel with you. Every else is so busy with uni or work or sometimes, its financial problems. And thats why I did tourism. To study and explore different places and different cultures and to experience an authentic and unique places from different part of the world.
Anyways, heres my outfit for today.
So this week is the first official exam week for me. This year has gone by really fast and in a few weeks, I've officially finish my first year in university. For those of you who are not aware of what im currently studying, I am doing a bachelors in international tourism management. I love doing what Im doing an I look forward to getting a job within the airline industry in the future. I always think about travelling to different places, whether it may be domestic or international. If you do ask me though, I havent really traveled much but I am looking forward to going to Australia next year. Currently have two jobs to save up for that much awaited trip. Though, its really hard to find someone to travel with you. Every else is so busy with uni or work or sometimes, its financial problems. And thats why I did tourism. To study and explore different places and different cultures and to experience an authentic and unique places from different part of the world.
Anyways, heres my outfit for today.
Outfit details:
Top from Artwork, PH
Blue leggings from Valleygirl
Denim Jacket from Hongkong
Shoes from Novo
Chokers from Lovisa
Special thanks to Shanelle from Servilles Hair Academy for doing my hair :)
Hope everyone's having a good day and I apologise once again for crappy photos :)
Love lots,
Sunday
growing up and grow up.
Growing up, I've always felt really independent. Not because I grew up watching people fight over the smallest things. I've felt independent at such a young age because of the society. The society will judge you and everything that you do.
Grow up. I grew up. Not because Im supposed to but because I chose to do so. I find it silly when people try to pick a permanent arguement. Its like im always misunderstood because of the way I express things. I express things for the general public to relate not because Im expressing whats inside my head. If I do get to express what's inside my head, you'd either have to be my boyfriend or my bestfriend. But when I do say something, I can tell you right now, half the time its a joke and the other is clearly not been well thought off.
Although I do admit, I have offended and lost a few people from the past. And that doesnt make me a perfect person. But the thing about forgiveness is that its great. It lets people forget about the mistakes from the past and focus on what we have now in the future. I do admit I was young and immature but who am I to hold a grunge against someone who I dont even understand why I had a glitch with,
Ive been misunderstood and I never really get the chance to explain.
Right now, i'd rather be in a peaceful place where I can relax and forget about what the society thinks of me. But I also have this voice in my head saying "who cares about what the society thinks". But then again, if you know me well enough, the last thing that I want in my life is to have a glitch with someone. There are so many things to do in this world and you'll never know when your last day is. Why hold a grunge or hatred towards someone? Why cant people just talk it out? In all fairness of it all, I salute the people who doesnt hold grunges and still talks to me in a most natural and non-awkward sense.
I realised I've made mistakes in the past. And that will never make me a perfect person. Everyday I try to face my fears. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being forgiven. But forgiveness is something to be sincere about. You cant say because you have. Say it because you mean it. Not everyone is given a second, third or maybe more chances. But for me, I am thankful to be given more chances than I ever deserve.
/rant over
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Love lots,
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