today I just feel like telling you guys whats in my mind after looking back to my blog post these past few months.
Ive realised that its hard to keep a relationship going if it involves two people with two different maturity. It didnt work out for me and my past because it felt like I was the only one trying to keep the relationship working. And since I was older, it felt like I was the only one trying to make an effort. Towards the end, I just couldnt handle it anymore and asked for a space but he ended up breaking it off anyways for his own good and also for mine. I gave myself a break from the trials that I had to go through and the judgements that ive heard from people and how I looked like the bad person all through out that stage. I distant myself from everyone else because I heard stuff about me that I didnt like. I worked all summer to avoid hanging out with people but there was one person who didnt turn his back on me. The person who makes me forget about the pain and makes me happy by the end of the day. He was willing to see me and hang out with me despite the fact that people have said bad things about me. I admit, im not a good person. I make mistakes and I hurt people and its kinda inevitable. But he stayed. He stayed even though ive friendzoned him for so many times and but eventually he showed me how to feel happy and not afraid anymore. He made me feel free from all the troubles that bothered me and he made me whole again. Its kinda cheesy but this guy is a blessing in disguise. I always wonder, why did we not meet before? But then again, I guess God has his own way of showing me that with every fall I get, theres always someone willing to catch me even if it means hurting again in the future.
I hope this one last. I kinda love the feeling of having someone who cares for me which I havent felt in a long time to be honest.
I guess a good boyfriend knows what hes doing and hes doing everything right. ♡
so thankful to have someone like Chris. Not asking for forever with him but he makes me happy. And I hope it stays like this for a long time.
So my advice is to not be afraid to open your door for someone who is willing to do whatever it takes, even if you've pusbed them away for so many times, if they keep coming back, give them a shot and they might actually make you feel extremely happy like what im feeling right now.
And take care of what you have. Dont push them away just because they did something bad. If its gone in the end, it'll stuff everything up.
Thats all,
Nina.♡
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