I should have done this reflection section ages ago but I havent really thought about what to put in my blog until recently, my blog got up to 1000+ views. So I decided to add a new feature in my blog which is the reflection section. Ill try to put up a reflection everyday, depending on how much I blog on a certain day or maybe when Im not too busy.
I love blogging and stuff but i also figured, If I could blog about my day, outfits and my music taste, why not blog about my daily reflections you know. If I could type a long blog about my life story, I could also take some time out and type a whole reflection of today's gospel. If I could watch a korean drama for an hour and read subtitles, I could also read the daily gospel and reflect to it.
Todays gospel: John 20:11-18 (click here)
Question: When I am troubled, in what way do I attune myself to God, and in what avenues do I seek Jesus to reveal Himself to me?
I must admit, as a teenager, I already went through a lot of troubles. I have been emotionally weak this past few years. 2011 wasnt the best year for me. It was my first year of NCEA and also the year that made me not me. Trouble, in a way that I'd rebel out. I'd go out with friends, have some drink until I'd feel numb. But that year was also the year I had my first broken heart. I went through the worst part of being inlove. That year was the year I lost myself in darkness (deep but true). I'd stay home, in bed the whole day, skipped 1 week of school, break down in tears in the middle of a class, I wouldnt eat, I wouldnt go out, I wouldnt talk to anyone else. But I knew I had one person that I can talk to. He knows when Im about to cry. He knows when Im deeply sad. But He also knew one thing. He knew that I wouldnt be stupid enough to do something that may hurt me and others. He knew I was hurt but He also knew that I could go through it. There was one point where I actually turned my back on Him, even though He was the only person who knew what was going on deep down inside. When I got lost in the darkness, He didnt leave me. He was by my side all the way. He did this through my friends and family who cheered me up when I needed someone. Even though I'd shut everyone else, He made sure that my friends and family would be there for me no matter what.
Im forever grateful for my friends and family who stayed by my side during the darkest hour of my teenage life. They made sure I'd eat and stay strong. Even though I cried non stop for a week, they were there for me. They knew that the "Nina" they knew would soon come back from her darkest hours.
It took some time for me to get back up in my feet. Even if I did lost some friends back then, I am now stronger and wiser. I found out who were my true friends. They were the ones who stayed by my side.
I remember being desperate to be okay. I'd pray every night before going to sleep. Even when I was crying, I'd pray. Until one day, I realise "Time to stop wasting your tears, you are loved by many people. Just stop." It took some time.
Everything takes time. Just pray when you feel like you're on the verge of crying.
Take some time out.
And with that, may God be praised.
Ask yourself this question and reflect to it.
Love lots,
N. ♥
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